Most, if not all, couples struggle to navigate the complex world and work on being in an intimate relationship. Many of us our not taught how to be in a healthy, loving and well connected relationship with our partners. The reality is that it takes plenty of work, humility and self regulation but it is not impossible and when shown a few different strategies and dispelling a few myths we begin to see that not only is it possible to be in a healthy, loving relationship but we can be in one that helps us thrive and grow as a person. We begin to see our differences as a learning opportunity for ourselves to become wiser.
I offer couples counselling as well as coaching that gets at the deeper issues that many couples struggle to reach.
We live in a society that suggests when we experience conflict and argue, the relationship is unhealthy. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Having arguments are typical for many couples. How we manage these conflicts is key and includes getting our needs met. Relationships are meant to be worked on and when we learn how to connect as well as reconnect and repair, we see that couples can manage their arguments in loving and connected ways.
Another area I see regularly is that partners feel that when they seek counselling, this means they are failing at the relationship. Often they wait until things have gone awry before seeking help. The truth is we are never really shown how to be in a loving, connected and supportive relationship. Once we are shown how to become more connected, loving, compassionate and empathetic, we see an increase in the quality of that relationship. It is true that many couples attend counselling at the initial signs of trouble, which is usually ends up with them learning to work in different ways in order to make it work.