Quick Fix – Feel Good World

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Quick Fix – Feel Good World

I hear couples commenting all the time about how they know that in every relationship there are times that are rough and that is true. At the same time it strikes me as odd when a couple seeks help because times are rough and they are arguing.

People are meaning makers and thus when they argue their “go to” is typically “if we are arguing this much things must be really bad and we need professional help”. Maybe not if you remember that times are rough. My curiosity was building at how I can say everyone argues in a relationship and they acknowledge that fact but then come in to see a therapist because they are arguing. What’s part of the answer?

Quick Fix Feel Good World. We can acknowledge that all couples argue but when the “rubber hits the road” as they say and we are arguing, we are in so much pain we forget that fact.

Just take a moment to look at advertising and social media. It all touts this medicine for taking away this pain or that problem. Everyone is laughing and jumping around. The underlying message is that pain or discomfort isn’t something to tolerate. We buy into it. All the while when asked about whether or not life has uncomfortable points, people openly acknowledge it does and that is where growth has a potential.

We only learn when we are in pain. Nobody learns when life is cheerful and happy but when the chips are down and life is hard, that’s when we start asking serious questions. If we don’t keep in mind that the potential to grow and learn is sitting with us at the time of discomfort then we will succumb to the “quick fix, feel good world” and want a solution or a pill or something to take away the pain.

When we take away pain and discomfort too soon we also take away the potential to learn and grow. Remember when life is hard, and it will be for all of us at various times, say to yourself I will tolerate this pain and discomfort because I know if I do some reflection I will learn and grow.

Blessings Donna