This is a question I am asked much of the time in sessions. All success in relationships begins with a loving and connected relationship to yourself and understanding ourselves is key. In our childhood we form beliefs that shape our view of the how the world works. For example, in my family, my father was an electrician. Although he did not have much formal education, only making it to grade 8, he was well read. He didn’t read just anything, he read books on economics, communism, understanding the human condition and human nature. As a child my consequences for bad behavior was a lecture on life. Grueling for a child to have to sit for an hour or two and listen to my parent talk about the meaning of life. One question he would often ask is “Donna what is life?” I would rarely get the right answer until one day when I started becoming more self aware when I was finally able to answer him and he smiled and nodded at my response. I said “life just is”. I know all this is talking is a long explanation to my point but here it is I formed a particular belief on what it means to learn as a result.
Learning to me now means not so much academic grades but learning about myself, likely due to the personal reflection during those lectures. Enter the ultimate adventure. I am curious as to why I do what I do and that curiosity is a gnawing in my soul. You might be asking how does this relate to relationships. Well, the more I am aware of my inner world, the more available I am to see that how I view the world is just that, MY VIEW. This is the lens I look through when communicating. Being aware of the fact I have a world view that is different from others and their upbringing, gives me the freedom to see others in the same way, looking through their lens of how the world works. This simple awareness alone gives me more compassion and understanding of others which is foundational to understanding other. Our struggle exists when we try to get others to see our world view while they are looking through their own. Seek rather to share understanding of each other. Call me if you would like to learn more. dmmurphy.com